My Review of Surrogates on “The Rotten Tomatoes Show”

What Actually Happened to Our Last Laptop

WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED was a complete accident. Minutes before Modest Proposal #4 was going to be declared done, a barista accidentally bumped into her co-worker who then spilt a hot sugary café latte all over our Toshiba laptop. The result was a fried computer, a 40-hour setback, and first-degree burns.

HOW WE INTERPRETED WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED was everything was going really well on Earth and both God and Satan were bored. They called a truce and decided to play their favorite game, “Who can make two grown men cry in public harder?” Satan won by making a cup of his favorite coffee (cream, sugar and, the Modest Proposal laptop). He had help from his demon-coffee urchins whom he personally schooled in the art of a lack of balance and general evil. One of them is pointing to a dotted swirl of smoke, which is what hope resembles when it disappears.

by Ron Babcock
art by Anna Gallaspy

Introduction to Issue 5

Supreme Comedy Nerd

 
by Ryan McKee
December 2004

Dan Schlissel runs Standup! Records like an indie music label. He releases things he loves, not things that will necessarily make him money. He released David Cross’ first album on red, white, and blue vinyl. Nobody releases comedy albums on vinyl anymore – except Schlissel who’s released several. His lineup includes everyone from relative unknowns like John Bowman, to lone-time road staples like Doug Stanhope, to alternative acts like Maria Bamford and The Sklar Brothers, to heavyweights like Lewis Black. Soon his lineup will also include Marc Maron.

What made you make the jump from the lucrative world of making indie music albums with -ismist Recordings to the even more lucrative world of making comedy albums with Stand Up! Records?
Ha! There are a lot of indie music labels out there and it’s hard to get noticed. The jump was accidental. I asked Lewis Black to make a CD almost six years ago, and he said yes.  I wish there were millions of dollars in it. It does treat me better than music did, though.

What’s the state of standup comedy?
I would say we are on a definite up-tick right now for the awareness of standup comedy.  It seems to be pervasive in the culture at the moment, more so than just ten years ago. Twenty years ago was a definite high in the field. I think we’re just now beginning to be at the same level as twenty years ago.

Your lineup is diverse; what is it that you look for when selecting someone for your label?
I look for someone that can make me laugh, quite simply put. What that is I couldn’t really quantify without lots of meditation. Sounds like a bad singles ad, doesn’t it?

Do you take into account the artist’s following?
More important to me is how much the comedian tours. This is a holdover from having a failed music label. Can’t sell any records if the act doesn’t tour.

Eugene Mirman told me that ‘back in the day’ used to sit around and listen to comedy albums at parties. Do you think that day will come again?
“Back in the day,” the only time I could hear any swearing was on Eddie Murphy tapes I’d listen to on my headphones, or at a friend’s house while their folks weren’t around. I hope there are 11-16 year olds still doing this, even if the record is labeled “Parental Advisory.”  It’s healthy as a way of being exposed to opinions in the world.

Why does the Twin Cities have such a great audience for standup comedy?
I think because it’s a fairly educated town and that helps a lot. I don’t think that we have the best audiences in the US, though. If something is a bit too un-PC, Doug Stanhope for instance, people tend to tighten up their rectums. That’s the problem with “liberal” towns.

Do you consider yourself a Comedy Nerd?
I would have said no, but if you’ve seen how much comedy related stuff I have gotten over the six years I’ve been doing this…  I mean fer chrissakes, I now collect comedy related toys, board-games, action figures, Christmas lights, records, posters…  I have managed to cross collector-nerd-scum with comedy. I don’t know if it’s a healthy proposition.

Does your wife get jealous of standup?
I’ve managed to keep things balanced. My lady can be a jealous person and I am aware of that. I do my best to keep her happy as well as do my business. She has been nothing but a solid rock of support. I’m not even saying that to get laid. It’s the God’s honest truth.

How does Dan Schlissel keep it real?
I get up at the crack of noon whether I need to or not.

How To Rock Your Bedroom

Handwritten Rejection

The people at Microsm Distribution didn’t get the satire of our third issue. Or maybe he was just turning our satire on its ear and using it satirically against us. The mind spins.

Zach Galifianakis Letter

After we sent a copy of Modest Proposal Issue 3, he was nice enough to send us a Thank You letter from Vancouver where he was filming his Deer Hunter, “Tru Calling.” Sure he called Ron, “Rob,” but he didn’t call me “Brian.” We’re lucky to bat 1 for 2.

 Letter

Envelope
(which is really a folded piece of paper, made to look like an envelope)

I will never be the next Renee Zellwegger.
No Matter how much try [sic]

August 10, 2008

077 Letter by LEV

Won Ton Not Now by Kiyoshi Nakazawa