Dan Bialek Live At Comedy Gold

Click photo to download our friend Dan Bialek’s new standup MP3. It’s hilarious, angry, smart, and ‘rant-tastic.’ (fuck, sorry, I can’t believe I just wrote that last word). His standup CD “This Will Not End Well” will be out in November.

My Review for Couples Retreat

Ryan Annoys His Girlfriend’s Chihuahua

Yeah Kanye, Punch Taylor Swift With Your Words

Kanye must be the asshole who keeps commenting on our YouTube videos.

Making fun of our friend Raphael

My girlfriend and I made this for our friend Raphael’s birthday. Sure, it’s kinda ‘inside,’ but there are plenty of wonderful gay and Mexican jokes that you’d expect from a quality Modest Proposal production.

A Sure Sign Your Baby Is A Racist

I thought this cover was a spoof when I first got it in the mail. Really? With no health care for poor babies, we’re more worried about whether they enjoy an Al Jolson routine? To put parents worries to rest, we have an example of baby racism. Unless your baby is doing this, don’t worry.

Badfish Short Film

I’m headed up to Buffalo this weekend to shoot a short comedy I wrote with my friend Kevin Polowy, entitled “Badfish.” He scored this great young director named Korey Green to helm the project. He made this documentary called The Forgotten City … after watching the first part, I’m a little scared to go now.

BILL HICKS’S PRINCIPLES OF COMEDY

Our pal Chris Hardwick transcribed these from wall at the Laughing Skull in Atlanta for anyone who asks the question, “How do I become a comic?” I think they’re very apt. After all, they’re from the greatest of the great.

1. If you can be yourself on stage nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.

2. The act is something you fall back on if you can’t think of anything else to say.

3. Only do what you think is funny, never just what you think they will like, even though it’s not that funny to you.

4. Never ask them is this funny – you tell them this is funny.

5. You are not married to any of this shit – if something happens, taking you off on a tangent, NEVER go back and finish a bit, just move on.

6. NEVER ask the audience “How You Doing?” People who do that can’t think of an opening line. They came to see you to tell them how they’re doing, asking that stupid question up front just digs a whole. This is The Most Common Mistake made by performers. I want to leave as soon as they say that.

7. Write what entertains you. If you can’t be funny be interesting. You haven’t lost the crowd. Have something to say and then do it in a funny way.

8. I close my eyes and walk out there and that’s where I start, Honest.

9. Listen to what you are saying, ask yourself, “Why am I saying it and is it Necessary?” (This will filter all your material and cut the unnecessary words, economy of words)

10. Play to the top of the intelligence of the room. There aren’t any bad crowds, just wrong choices.

11. Remember this is the hardest thing there is to do. If you can do this you can do anything.

12. I love my cracker roots. Get to know your family, be friends with them.

Airhumpers

Classic video from Ron and my early comedy days in Phoenix. Still one of my favorites. The girl in the end was our neighbor, who Ron and I both totally wanted to … buy dinner, massage her feet, and be best friends with. Ahhhh, we were so innocent.

How To Write Hilarious Jokes by John Griggs

One of the most unique character I’ve met in standup comedy is John Griggs. He is a cross between Mr. Rodgers, Jeffrey Dahmer, and your wayward uncle. Ron and I started doing standup comedy at the same time as him in Phoenix. While he struck us as stranger-danger at first, now his odd, off-kilter stage persona is a favorite amongst Phoenix comics. Personally, I can’t stop smiling through every set I see. Many people think he’s playing an Andy Kaufman-esque character, but it’s really him. If you doubt his sincerity, read his recent ehow.com article:

How to Write Hilarious Jokes