Badfish Short Film

Ryan's Bizznatch

I’m headed up to Buffalo this weekend to shoot a short comedy I wrote with my friend Kevin Polowy, entitled “Badfish.” He scored this great young director named Korey Green to helm the project. He made this documentary called The Forgotten City … after watching the first part, I’m a little scared to go now.

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BILL HICKS’S PRINCIPLES OF COMEDY

Ryan's Bizznatch

Our pal Chris Hardwick transcribed these from wall at the Laughing Skull in Atlanta for anyone who asks the question, “How do I become a comic?” I think they’re very apt. After all, they’re from the greatest of the great.

1. If you can be yourself on stage nobody else can be you and you have the law of supply and demand covered.

2. The act is something you fall back on if you can’t think of anything else to say.

3. Only do what you think is funny, never just what you think they will like, even though it’s not that funny to you.

4. Never ask them is this funny – you tell them this is funny.

5. You are not married to any of this shit – if something happens, taking you off on a tangent, NEVER go back and finish a bit, just move on.

6. NEVER ask the audience “How You Doing?” People who do that can’t think of an opening line. They came to see you to tell them how they’re doing, asking that stupid question up front just digs a whole. This is The Most Common Mistake made by performers. I want to leave as soon as they say that.

7. Write what entertains you. If you can’t be funny be interesting. You haven’t lost the crowd. Have something to say and then do it in a funny way.

8. I close my eyes and walk out there and that’s where I start, Honest.

9. Listen to what you are saying, ask yourself, “Why am I saying it and is it Necessary?” (This will filter all your material and cut the unnecessary words, economy of words)

10. Play to the top of the intelligence of the room. There aren’t any bad crowds, just wrong choices.

11. Remember this is the hardest thing there is to do. If you can do this you can do anything.

12. I love my cracker roots. Get to know your family, be friends with them.

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How To Write Hilarious Jokes by John Griggs

Ryan's Bizznatch

One of the most unique character I’ve met in standup comedy is John Griggs. He is a cross between Mr. Rodgers, Jeffrey Dahmer, and your wayward uncle. Ron and I started doing standup comedy at the same time as him in Phoenix. While he struck us as stranger-danger at first, now his odd, off-kilter stage persona is a favorite amongst Phoenix comics. Personally, I can’t stop smiling through every set I see. Many people think he’s playing an Andy Kaufman-esque character, but it’s really him. If you doubt his sincerity, read his recent ehow.com article:

How to Write Hilarious Jokes

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Sometimes Readers Hate Me

Ryan's Bizznatch

Here’s the problem with making fun of people for a living, they take it personally. Below is a screen-shot of the comments section on an article I just wrote for AskMen.com called Top 10: Embarrassing Jobs. People with shitty jobs are an easy target and I don’t take pleasure shitting on them, but I have to make a living. The editors of AskMen write me and say, “We’ll pay you to write this article on Embarrassing Jobs, will you make fun of people for us?” The answer is yes. Sorry, dishwashers, I didn’t think people who held your position could read English. My favorite guy is the one who signed in as ‘ryan mckee is a d-bag.’

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