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Three friends stood in line at the drug store. They were talking about girls they’d like to fuck.
“Nah, nah, I got third dibs on her. Joey and Malcolm got there first,” one said.
Another one looked back and saw the condoms I was buying. “Ahhh yeah, this guy’s smart, using condoms.”
I pointed at a lady rolling a stroller, “Don’t want one of those.”
“Yeah, fuck strollers.”
Pittsburgh native Anthony Jeselnik is a stand-up comedian who was hired on as one of the first joke writers for “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon.” It’s his first experience writing for a talk show, though he created material for Jimmy Kimmel on the American Music Awards and ESPYs. Jeselnik also wrote for Sarah Silverman when she hosted the Video Music Awards and the MTV Movie Awards. Click to read the whole thing.