
by Ryan McKee
The yearbook staff at Payson Junior High would give each homeroom a nickname for their class picture. The names changed each year depending on the staff. My eighth grade year, the staff loved alliteration to the bitter end.





by Ryan McKee
The yearbook staff at Payson Junior High would give each homeroom a nickname for their class picture. The names changed each year depending on the staff. My eighth grade year, the staff loved alliteration to the bitter end.




by Ryan McKee

LA Tino
A child’s book about a rough and tumble Latino boy named Tino growing up in Los Angeles.
Mex, I Can
A historical novel about a motivational speaker fighting at The Alamo . . . but on the wrong side.
Chick Ana
A fantasy novel about a chicana feminist named Ana, who is turned into a chicken by an evil white sorcerer. She struggles to learn the chickens’ language and begins advocating for hen’s rights.
by Ryan McKee

by Ryan McKee
Current Band I Can’t Stop Listening To
The Builders and The Butchers
by Ryan McKee
When Ryan Adams’ Gold came out and we noticed a surge of Wil-Lows buying it. Quickly, anyone buying an Adams’ or Whiskeytown record became a Wil-Low. Our hatred for them grew as Ryan Adams’ success rose.
This week
So imagine how disappointed Jeffy would be in me if he found out that last night I attended “An Evening with Ryan Adams and the Cardinals” at Royce Hall, a theatre where people sit down to enjoy their concerts?
As we waited for the concert to begin, two 40 something year old men sat behind us, discussing, at length, what songs Adams had been playing on this tour and breaking down their favorite albums of his song by song. They even threw Wilco comparisons in there. I shit you not.
After a few songs, a douchebag in the front row stood up, turned around, and screamed, “Come on people! Stand up.” Immediately, I thought, “Please, no, I’m having such a nice time sitting down.” I started to chastise myself for thinking that. “How old am I?” But when none of the other 1800 people made any motion to stand or even respond to the douchebag, I was fucking glad.
Later the douchebag stood up again and screamed, “Isn’t this a concert? Fucking stand up!” Again, no one moved and I thought, “Ha, ha, isn’t this a delightful evening.” Ryan Adams turned to his guitarist and said, “What that guy say? Sarkofagus?” People laughed. “That would be the best heckle ever. Sarkofagus.” People laughed harder. “Or maybe he’s requesting “Sarkofagus.” Adams starts playing a metal riff and his band joined in. They belted out a 45-second long song, complete with vocals, that sounded like something Dethklok would play. At the end, Adams’ said “Sarkofagus!”
The crowd laughed and cheered, but did not stand up. Despite myself, I laughed too. Comedians can’t stand when musicians try to be funny. It’s so easy for them to get laughs because the audience already loves them, they’re not expecting them to actually be funny, and it breaks whatever tension is built up by the songs. This leads musicians to think they’re actually funny. That’s why we get “skits” on rap albums, Doggy Fizzle Televizzle, and John Mayer’s standup comedy.
Ryan Adams, however, said some funny things on stage. “You know, I still get nervous before concerts,” he said. “Then I think, ‘Why am I getting nervous? I hate most of those people in the audience.”
So, sorry comedians, I laughed at Ryan Adams. And to Jeffy, I really enjoyed sitting down during a concert. I even enjoyed the intermission. I’m sure your ears are ringing in the record store as I write this. That is, if you haven’t died from shooting speedballs.
This is me right before the concert. I’m already kind of having a good time.
